Too Little, Too Much

Sorry friends for taking so long to write another post.  Things have been a bit on the crazy side lately with the things I have allowed on my plate.  I wouldn't say that I have an issue with overcommitting, at least not to events but when it comes to wanting to do things for other people then I easily overcommit and end up sometimes failing miserably.  For Christmas I did many handmade things. The quilt that I have been working on for my dad has been quite a feat and a giant time consumer.  I would say that I have easily put 50-100 hours into the project so far and it isn't even complete.  Once it is complete I will do a post specifically walking through the steps but this is what it looks like so far:

In addition to the quilt I made scrapbook calendars for my mom and sister-in-law, made canvases with family pictures for my parents, brother and sister-in-law and my other brother.  I framed a friend's wedding program with this neat lace like background for part of her gift.  So I have been busy.  I feel as though all of my energy, time and resources have gone into making these gifts.  I love doing gifts like these for friends.  I sometimes wonder if they would rather have a store bought gift but they seem to like the personalized gifts so until they ask me to stop I guess I will keep doing them.  I will say that when you work on a gift for somebody it gets you thinking about that person and your relationship with them.  I did have somewhat of an epiphany when I realized that one of my love languages was gifts and that I truly cherish giving gifts that fit the personalities of the people that I give them to.  I honestly get offended if somebody gets me a gift that SO does not fit my personality.  It isn't that I'm not grateful; it is simply that I feel a distance in the relationship if they know me so little.  I also hate when people spend money poorly so I also hate the fact that money was spent on these gifts.  When a family member wanted me to go shopping with them, ahem,  I mean shopping for them so they wouldn't have to put any effort into thinking what to buy I truly got mad at the apathy.  I refused to do it. I think they should make an effort but maybe to them bringing me along was the effort they were making.  Gifts are clearly not their love language so should I hold them to the same standard that I have for myself?  Probably not but I also don't want to just let them get by with their apathy and be a crutch for them and prevent them from putting forth some effort and thought into their gifts for others.  I also realize that I can't always hold people to my standards which makes me sad because I feel like my standards are great... but if I were completely honest they are also exhausting and very hard to live up to.   

I spent way too much time on some people's gifts and way too little time on other people's gifts.  Sadly, I ran out of time to really spend on making or shopping for gifts for some people that I really wish I could have.  I'm talking about close friends that I cherish dearly.  I really messed up my priorities in terms of investing my time and energy on gifts based on my endearment for the gift recipient.  I totally dropped the ball with one of my brother's gifts.  I was at a loss for what to get him, he wouldn't give me any hints or ideas, so I made up a list of different ideas for gifts and he picked the lamest thing on the list: a shower curtain.  You might be wondering why I had that on my list to begin with but it is because he recently took over my condo and even though he was using the master bedroom he wasn't using the master bathroom.  He was walking across the hall and using the guest/hall bath and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.  Then my mom mentioned that it might be because of my bathroom still being extremely feminine.  So new bathroom stuff was on the list and that is what he chose.  That put me in a weird position because I had to get a curtain that was manly but could also be presentable enough for when I put the condo on the market (whenever that might be).  This led to me being the giver of one of those presents that I hate. One that doesn't match the personality at all.  This brother is an excellent gift giver which made me feel even worse for giving such a crappy gift to him.  I also didn't want to get him another gift on top of it because that would have been too much and well boo.  Boo on the stupid shower curtain and boo on me for even putting it on the list.  

In terms of my Doing Good Deeds theme I will say that I haven't totally dropped the ball on that but that I have deviated from the book a bit.  My focus lately has been on the homeless population.  I am surrounded by them at work and in the area around my work.  One comes into my office often and I have really tried to foster a friendship with him.  I asked him his name one day and since then he comes in to chat often.  He even brought me a Christmas card.  He also gave me his phone number. (Bow chicka bow wow!)  The group at church I'm slowly getting plugged into made grocery bags to give out to the homeless.  They had band-aids, water, fruit cups, granola bars, etc. in them and I gave mine out during my lunch breaks.  One day I walked up to a man and lady and gave them a bag each.  They both thanked me and the lady said, "You look great!" like somebody would say to somebody they went to high school with but hadn't seen in years and they had lost weight.  I told her she did too.  Then the guy told me that I had great legs.  I was wearing a sweater dress and tall boots so from the 5 inches of legs he could see he thought they were great.  I thanked him for his compliment but really I don't think that anybody has great knees and that is pretty much all he could see so I question his judgement but hey, as a single lady I take compliments where I can get them. I then went to a local church's annual waffle lunch to benefit the homeless.  I was by myself and met another lady by herself.  She was older than me but also single and we had a lot in common.  She told me about some cheap classes that she has taken around the area in topics like fencing and ceramics.  I will need to look into those classes because me with a sword sounds like a great idea!!  Anyways, back to the homeless people, I've been trying to keep my eyes out for ways to serve.  I got a free pastry the other day from Panera and I tried to give it to a homeless man on the way back to the office after lunch but sadly he was allergic to nuts.  I told him I didn't want to kill him and gave him an apple that I had on me instead.  I've also bought several of the homeless papers that they sell as a way to make an income.   

I'll share with you a funny conversation I had when at home.  I typically share these as Facebook statuses and need to get in the habit of doing so on here so then I would be a bit more regular with my posts.  While I was talking to my parents about my grandmother (who we call Mur or Grandmur) and how she has completely lost her memory my dad then says clear out of the blue, "I want to be shot by a jealous husband."  I just have a confused look on my face trying to compute the statement when my mom says, "He says this at parties."  I finally stammer out, "But why?  And I'm hoping mom is dead before  you start hitting on women in a way that makes their husbands jealous."  He couldn't really explain it, I think he just thinks it is a fun way to die and after watching his mom lose her mind over the last 8 years he wants something faster than Alzheimers to do him in.  On a side note, while visiting Mur my mom asked her who my dad was and Mur said, "Well that's my.... "  She obviously didn't feel confident enough to say a name but we think she might have confused my dad for my grandfather with all the winking and clicking of the tongue.  

Oh and another funny thing that happened was after we had our Christmas meal my parents were trying to move Mur back to the living room and she got sick to her stomach.  She started to throw up and the heaving action caused an eruption out the backside that left even her socks soiled.  They quickly moved her to the hall bathroom but the lights were not working.  A breaker was broken and they would not turn back on.  My mom then yells for me to get everybody out of the house so they can open the door.  The smell was horrendous.  I don't know how my mom handled being in the room with the smell in the dark with the door closed.  My brother's family was slowly making its way out the door when I yelled, "You need to leave, you need to leave NOW!  Run!! Save yourselves!!"  They got out in record pace and my mom asked me to come into the bathroom to help.  It took a few attempts to even make it past the door because the smell was just so overwhelming.  Once I was inside I was laughing at the situation (I'm a 5th grader when laughing about bathroom incidents, I admit it.) and the laughing turned to coughing and because the smell was so bad it turned to heaving and I thought my throw up was going to join the mix of bodily fluids already in abundance in that small 4'x4' room.  At one point I called out to my father to light some candles, STAT!  Thankfully my mom bought Mur some new clothes for Christmas and we got her cleaned up.  It was traumatic for her though and it was abundantly clear that she can't handle coming out to the house for holidays anymore. So this Christmas was the last one with Mur coming out to the house to celebrate.  We will visit her in the nursing home but it won't be the same without her.  

Inconsistency

I wish that I was one of those people that was totally consistent in terms of daily activities.  I wish that I consistently ironed my clothes the night before work so I wouldn’t have to rush in the morning but this rarely happens.  I wish that I consistently spent time in the Word but that has been a giant struggle lately. I also wish that I followed a handy dandy weekly cleaning schedule and that my home was consistently clean but alas that never happens.  I did pin one though so I might give it a go.  All of this is to say that I have not been consistent with my Good Deed a day since my last entry.  I have had parents in town, I’ve been travelling for weddings, I’ve been planning out the quilt for my father.  I’ve just been busy and haven’t been able to keep up with the blog or the deeds for the blog every single day.  This is what I do have. 

So in spring I signed up for a Groupon type deal where for one low price I was able to take a gun safety course, the conceal carry permit class and get a year's membership to the shooting range.  A friend and I both signed up for it.  The only other time I shot a gun was with a guy friend and the shell bounced off the wall and went down my shirt.  I was wearing a tank top with a shelf bra and the ridiculously hot shell got stuck in between my boobs and so I slam the gun down, thankfully not shooting anybody in the process and got the shell out.  I ended up with a blister on my chest that scabbed and pealed.  I swear these types of things only happen to me.  Well I wanted to get more comfortable with a gun so I signed up for the classes and I got my carry permit.  I haven't bought a gun yet and I'm not sure if I ever will but it doesn't hurt to have a permit.  I had actually taken the class and wasn't sure about applying for the permit until I talked to my future roommate and she talked about seeing some cheap condos for rent near the river.  I said that I had also seen them but my boss said they were in a bad part of town and the bars on the parking garage were there for a reason.  My roommate then responded with, "I love witnessing to homeless people so I would love that!"  The very next day I went to get my carry permit.  Since I was rushed in terms of time and getting this done before I moved I didn't really put much time and effort into my appearance since I didn't think anybody would ever see my permit since I wasn't sure if I would buy a gun.   I tell you all of this because when I changed my address for my driver's license it said that since I was within so many months from needing a new license (good ole 30th birthday coming up) that I could get a new renewed license and wouldn't have to get a new one for my birthday.  I'm thinking this is awesome!  Not only is it convenient but I can keep my cute young picture on my license and won't have to go go down to the DMV and wait forever and take a new pic! Sweet deal!  Well imagine my disappointment when my new license shows up with my conceal carry picture!!  My hair isn't even curled?!?  Such a disappointment.  So pissed off.  This makes me want to dye my hair again, grow out my bangs, get rid of my adam's apple (good greif, I hate that about my appearance) and contact somebody about getting a new picture.  Anyways, this long explantation is to show that the heart on my license shows that I am an organ donor. 

 












While in the elevator I hear a click, click, click on the floor and hold the door open for whoever is rushing towards me in heels.  Once she got in the elevator she said she should nickname them her "please hold the elevator shoes."

I have been running out of steam at night recently.  Last Wednesday night I reached a point where I just couldn't do anything else and climbed into bed at 10.  This meant that I had to pack, bake chocolate pies and load the car all on Thursday morning which put me way behind schedule but I just couldn't bring myself to do it on Wednesday night. The same thing happened last night.  After driving back from Thanksgiving with part of the family in east Tennessee I unloaded the car, took a bath and then crashed.  I was in bed at 9:30.  Why can't this happen during the week when I have to work early the next day?  I slept until 10 this morning and I just felt out of sorts.  I was sneezy and sleepy and honestly didn't want to become like any of the other drawfs so I decided to stay in and be lazy for the first day in months. 

Goodreads.com is a great place to organize your books.  I love seeing all of the ones I have read and I enjoy keeping track of the ones I want to read.  I was suffering through a book that several people told me was amazing.  It was slow and painful torture.  I went on goodreads and I found a review of the book that totally matched how I felt.   I finally stopped listening to the audio on disc 7 out of 9.  It was so horrible that I couldn't make it through the remaining 2 hours of listening.  Life is too short for 2 hours of listening to a bad book.  Just be careful because some of the reviews give away spoilers. 

So I was texting with a friend and they asked me how the football game was over the weekend and I said that I went to the last Twilight movie instead.  He responded with, "I wonder which one was more painful to watch."  I don't get comments like these.  Obviously I went to see a movie that I liked so why act like it was a painful experience.  I totally went off on him.  Total over reaction.  We thankfully have the type of relationship where he calming told me it was an over reaction and then proceeded to say that I should take him and his personality into consideration and that he should have just asked me how I liked the movie instead of wording it the way he had.  I totally felt convicted and apologized.  He isn't snarky and sarcastic (gee, I wonder who might have projected her own personality onto his comments... nope, can't think of anyone, nobody comes to mind...) and I never should have even assumed that is how his comment was meant.  

I've had a birthday calendar for a while but honestly my life has been so transitional this last decade I haven't done a great job keeping up with it.  I have some family members in pen but have most other people in pencil.  Honestly so many people move or get married and disappear that it is hard to use pen on everybody.  You know you've made it into the inner circle of my life if you get penned into my birthday calendar. 

My Thanksgiving was spent in a restaurant and I felt so bad about taking the waitress and the rest of the staff away from their families but also very grateful to have a place to go so that I didn't have to cook a full meal for me and my brother.  Whenever UT plays we don't get a typical Thanksgiving and have to fend for ourselves.  We have gone to Shoney's and Riverside Tavern in the past.  I like Cracker Barrel the most though and was very happy they were open.  We then went to see Skyfall and may I just say how much I love Daniel Craig as Bond, James Bond.  Hello blue eyes!  

Ever been next to somebody that can't stop sneezing?  That was my mom when her and my dad were in town and we went out for a nice dinner and then on to see a play. She sneezed her head off at dinner but thankfully it calmed down before we went to go see White Christmas at Tennessee Performing Arts Center.  It was fabulous!  Very well done play!  Thankfully my parents are awesome sports and posed in the cardboard cut out board.  This was one of the pictures used for their Christmas card this year.  My dad doesn't know this. Hee hee.  I took a picture for a couple after my parents and the guy was a short guy and could barely fit his head in the hole.  It was so sad.  He almost knocked the board over reaching on his tip toes.  Poor little fella.  On the way out of the theater while walking on the sidewalk somebody let out a fart of all farts and mom and I just looked at each other at the same time and couldn't stop laughing.  We were giddy.  It was ridiculous.  

I do hope that you all had a great Thanksgiving with friends and family.  I had a great time with my family.  My brother is truly one of the most insightful and considerate people I know and I stayed with him in my old condo.  He had gotten milk for me knowing that I eat cereal in the morning which is just so sweet.  One night the parents, the brother and I watched How to Train a Dragon and just had a fun time with each other and laughing about things on the internet and life.  Good times. 

A Little of This, a Little of That...

My boss got her hair did last week and you could tell she made an effort to keep it styled like they did it at the salon and so I made sure to compliment her on it.

This weekend I spent some time in the mountains with my family.  It was a busy weekend.  After work on Friday I got in the car and headed east.  Thanks to a curve that always, well almost always, has a wreck on it the four hour trip took over five hours.  I did stop for dinner at a Steak-N-Shake and the hostess was completely overwhelmed but was trying her best to keep up with the people coming in, handling a man wanting to pay his check and taking my to-go order.   You could tell that she was at the age in a teenager’s life where she wasn’t fully comfortable with herself yet.  I made sure to tell her what a pleasure it was working with her.  

With the time change I didn’t arrive until 11:30ish.  Needless to say I was tired but ended up staying up late talking to somebody on Facebook.  This was a very bad decision since I was woken up at 5:30 by the sweetest little voice of my nephew who had forgotten where his parents’ room was in the cabin and was looking for them.  He didn’t recognize me without my makeup and got a little bit frightened and embarrassed thinking he woke up a stranger.   David just recently has started opening up to me.  He was a momma’s boy ALL THE WAY and would have nothing to do with me since he saw me so rarely. We bonded over lunch the last time I was in town and this weekend we really had a great time together. I loved talking with him about different things and whenever I used big words I made sure to explain them to him.  He wanted to pretend to be animals and he decided right off the bat that he wanted to be a zebra. I, however, spent my pretty little time going through the rolodex of animals I could think of.  I would describe the ones David didn’t know to him. Example:  a ferret is a mixture of a cat, rat and snake. They supposedly smell. 

On Sunday our family got to experience the hot mess that is Dollywood.  It is so red neck in many ways. On the way in we saw a woman wearing a shirt that said “Driving Trucks and Tagging Bucks!”  Classy.  At the end of the night there was a drunk guy with his white hair in a mullet complete with sweat band on our trolley to the parking lot.  He was telling people they needed to find Jesus and spouting off his website where he evangelizes.  They make up names to go with each of the trolley stops.  A is for Amazing, B is for Beautiful, etc.  Thankfully this guy gets off on A and is yelling at the trolley to go to his website.  After he gets off people start making jokes left and right about him.  We were all laughing hysterically and I’m trying not to wake up Catherine who is asleep on my lap.  People that get off at B and C are yelling “God bless!!” and “Praise the Lord!”  When we get to trolley stop D/E the announcer is saying things like Dolly’s Earrings and Diamond Earrings and tells people to come up with their own words.  I hear Dumbo’s Ears from my dad a few rows back.  It took a while but when I finally came up with Drunken Evangelist we all had a good laugh on that trolley.  Anyways, my good deed for the day was not mocking this guy, but riding the ferris wheel with Catherine.  I’m not scared of heights but Emily and my mother are and Catherine needed somebody to go with her. She was very excited.  I kept trying to talk her out of it but she wouldn’t budge.  I just don’t see the point of a ferris wheel.  It was cold, and this is just sitting outside in the cold going in circles.  We did it. She was happy. I survived.

While I was in east Tennessee this weekend I was able to go to the wedding of a sweet friend of mine.  Megan has been such a special friend for the past few years and I was there for her through the entirety of her relationship with Clint including being there for their first date.  Since Megan met Clint online she was nervous about meeting him and wanted some friends in the area just in case she needed saving. Having experienced some awful online dating dates myself I understood.  Hannah and I went and ate at a nearby restaurant and were walking to where Megan was having dinner just to check on her but as we walked by the window of a Chocolate and Coffee shop Hannah said that they were in the window having dessert.  I hadn’t seen them so I turned around planning to just leisurely stroll by the window and catch a glance at what Clint looked like. Well I start walking back and right before I get to the window Clint looks up and sees me and instead of acting like a normal person who is just walking on a sidewalk I freeze.  So incredibly awkward.  I just froze there and then I  didn’t know what to do next so I just turn around and run.  So incredibly mature.  Thankfully Clint was so nervous on the date he didn’t think anything of it.  Well Megan had the cutest little scroll made up with the history of their relationship and I was on it!  Not by name of course but my friend totally yelled out to me, “That’s you!!”  

So with the move and everything I hadn’t gotten around to making a gift or even buying a gift for Megan and Clint.  I will sometimes do platters for my friends and they will vary depending on the couple and what they want.  I might do a monogram or I might do a couple at the altar and make them look like the bride and groom.  Well I felt bad about not having a gift for them and knew I was going to be awkwardly late with a platter if I made it and they are moving soon and it wouldn’t be fun to ship it but thankfully it all came together perfectly.  As soon as I sat down and saw their program with a sticker of two thumbprints with their monogram on it I was inspired.  Megan talked about thumbprints in her vows and even had a specialty wedding ring made for Clint with her thumbprint in it representing everything that was her, her whole being, down to her unique fingerprint was his.   Isn’t that cool!?!  It was a beautiful wedding filled with love- both for each other and both for Christ.  

On my way back to the cabin after the wedding I stopped by a mom-n-pop store to pick up a few things that we needed.  The man at the register asked me if I had had an enjoyable day and I responded that I had a great day and just came from a wedding.  He then asked if it was mine or somebody else’s.   I just kinda stared at him for a bit and then responded with, “If it was my wedding I hope I would be wearing white and doing something else afterward other than buying saran wrap and bread.”  Really?!?!?  These things seem to only happen to me.

So we deal with some interesting people at work.  Our floor has a good amount of homeless people on it. There is a lady that is schizophrenic and we have had issues with her calling us incessantly.  We have talked to her about only calling twice a day and if she calls and we don’t answer it means we are helping a patron or are on the phone or out of the office and therefore she needs to wait at least 30 minutes before calling back.  Today while I was helping a patron she called 5 times in a row.  On the fifth call I answered only to tell her that I was with a patron and could not talk and she needed to stop calling and call later.  She then told me I was lying and called me a bitch and said she was going to tell my boss to fire me.  I told her that I was not lying, that I would love to help her when I wasn’t previously working with somebody and that I didn’t appreciate being called a bitch.  I think she hung up at some point but who knows for sure.  Not cool.