Piece by Piece

I like quilting and in some ways I can identify with the pieces of a quilt. There are so many pieces that have to come together for the quilt to work.  The fabric has to work together and the seams need to match up at an exact point or else it doesn't look right.  It is a juggling act.  You have to make sure you sew one seam the exact same width as another or else the pieces don't fit correctly.  I feel as though the seams of my body didn't get the message that they need to fit each other correctly.  This week I had an appointment with the rheumatologist.  I was very scared about the appointment because I had some blood work come in right before I left Knoxville and the doctor there told me he thought I had lupus.  So for 2+ months I've been thinking that I have lupus on top of my joint disorder.  Well my Nashville doctor totally shocked me by telling me he doesn't think I have lupus but just something that mimics it. MCTD- Mixed Connective Tissue Disease.  He said that with treatment there is a possibility of the symptoms being treated and going away.  I'm still in a state of shock about the news.  This is the first good news I've received about my health in years.  Holy cow!  Our God is a great God and He is an amazing healer!!  I've already started treatment, which comes with some crappy side effects such as retina destruction. I'm going to keep an eye on it (pun intended) and hopefully since the dose is small the side effects will be minimal.  He said in time I should feel less pain and have more energy.  Once the pills start to take effect (it could be up to 6-8 weeks) then I am going to put on some leg warmers and get as excited as Jessie Spano on her pills except I'm not going to be scared. I'm going to be pumped!!!!

The doctor also signed off for me to get a handicap tag.  I have conflicted emotions about this. Using it will be a giant help.  Right now I am paying $105 to park at work.  I'll let you digest that a minute.  $105!!!!!!  I could ride the bus for free but the bus takes forever long and I would have to walk several blocks to work.  One of my knee caps doesn't stay in place.  The arches in my feet collapse and some days I can feel the muscles tear with each step. While I may look perfectly healthy, I'm not and even just the thought of walking several blocks in work shoes makes me hurt.  But I'm worried that when people see me parking in a handicap spot and get out looking as healthy as I do, they will get mad and think I'm taking advantage and shouldn't be parking there.  I feel like I'm going to have to fake limp my way to and from my car but the reason I'm parking there is so I won't have a true limp from just going about my everyday life.  For right now I'm just going to look on it as a blessing and use it as I need and hope that there is no backlash from people who don't know me and what I'm going through.  This is the reason I love this quote:  "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." We never know what people are going through.  It could be a physical battle, an emotional one or a mental one, but most people on any given day are getting by while fighting their battles.  Some have more armor than others and some show their wounds more than others.

Today starts the beginning of a very large and very long good deed.  I'm working on a t-shirt/picture quilt for my father for Christmas.  I've already cut up several of my father's shirts and now I'm at the planning phase in terms of figuring out what t-shirt goes where and how many pictures I'm going to need to put in between the t-shirts.  Every single one of these t-shirts and pictures revolves around one thing: Tennessee Football.  My dad is pretty intense about it.  His reactions to the games are a bit extreme to say the least.  He doesn't seem to have any self-control when watching the Vols and things seem to fly both out of his mouth and off of his head.  He has hit the railing at the stadium in front of him with such force that the paint is chipping. No lie.  Now before you go picturing this awful person in your head I should let you know that he is only this way when it comes to UT Football and golf.  I refuse to golf with him.  Not only does he act like this but he doesn't use a cart. So picture this: you're hot and sweaty and your feet and back hurt from walking and carrying the golf bag and on top of that you're dealing with a man who is yelling and throwing his hat and you just reach a point where you choose life and walk off the course after 6 holes.  That's what happened to me. You would do the same if you were in my shoes. The heat index was 102 that day so don't even say you wouldn't.  Ok, back to football and the quilt.

As I was looking at all of these t-shirts and going through all of my pictures to pick which ones I want to print on iron-on transfers so I can put them on fabric, it was a walk down memory lane.  As silly as football is (and it really is in the big picture of life) it has had a giant impact on my family's life. It has been a common thread through so many events and it is a constant come fall.  This is the first year I haven't been to the majority of the games since 1998.  As much as football means to me and this family I am enjoying having my Saturdays to do other things with like sleep, read, go to concerts in the park, etc.  For the next several nights, weekends and more I will be working on this quilt and will hopefully have it completed by Christmas.