Sorry for the word vomit!

Hello Hello! How goes it?  I survived the weekend but I am exhausted and a little on edge. I had a lot of fun this weekend. I started with dinner with friends and then got up bright and early for my glass fusing class on Saturday.  There were two teachers and six students (myself included).  For half of the day nobody was talking.  I tried to start some conversation and it went nowhere for a while but over a few hours people became more comfortable and by the end of the day I got to hear all about one woman’s struggle with her neighbor who tries to sell her 31 products, jewelry, etc. quite aggressively. It was a thrilling tale I assure you.

In the morning we started out by making coasters to get used to the process of cutting and breaking the glass. I have roughly 87 coasters so I certainly didn’t need 4 more so I did some for my mom for Mother’s Day. They had a lot of pretty blue colors that matches her house much better than my own.

I really liked a bowl on one of the teacher’s websites and wanted to do it in my colors so I did.  It will look like a plaid with red, yellow and green.  It will be see through in between the colors so I’m hoping when the light catches it that it will be pretty cool. I laid out all of the strips and they will fire it in the kiln so that the glass becomes liquid and reduces to one layer.  Then they will let it cool.  It will still be a flat disc at this point so they will fire it again (not as hot this time) while it is over a mold and the disc will fall into the mold taking on its shape. Mine will be a square shaped bowl.

One of the teachers was very good looking and I was impressed with how talented he was with his glass making skills. Given his sailor’s mouth I’m guessing we might not have similar religious views and that bums we out a bit.  Why is it that the guys I seem to connect with on a physical, intellectual, humorous level don’t share the same religious views? I guess this is just going to ensure that I will be extremely grateful if a guy with the whole package does come along.  

After the glass class I went to my church’s Saturday service for the first time.  I must say that I am homesick for my church in Knoxville. Not so much the single’s group but the preaching. Oh how I miss the humor, the theology, the challenging sermons, etc.  This church in Nashville also has so many services, and many of them are packed to the brim making it extremely packed and that makes it extremely difficult for a left-handed note taker to take notes!  I’ve been sitting on the front rows by myself to make sure I can sit on the left most seat without risk of being told to move in to make room for people.  Because of this going to church is rather quite lonely.  I could sit with people but I wouldn’t be able to take notes and that is the only way that I remember diddily squat.  A few weeks ago I decided to just stay at home and listen to one of my Knoxville pastor’s sermons on the Internet. That just made me even more homesick for that church.  The sermon dealt with tough stuff that many churches wouldn’t even touch but that is one of the reasons I love them. Actually at my Nashville church there was a guest speaker at the single’s group and he also talked about a similar subject.  He also laid out the gospel and one of my friends said that is the first time she has heard the gospel at the church in the three years she has been there.  I must say that sent up a warning flag for me. I know that no church is perfect but I do admit I am homesick.

That night I went to an 80s theme wedding shower. Some people complained that they didn’t have 80s outfits and so they opened it up for people to wear pajamas instead. Very random but people had a blast whether they were in PJs or neon colors with their hair crimped. I told the bride-to-be that I must be a true Nashvillian by now to be invited to weddings and showers.  

Since I did church on Saturday night I was able to sleep in (somewhat) and get up and do all of my bible study days for the week.  I didn’t have the time to do them during the week so I saved them to do all at once.  Better late than never.  I finished all by one before I met a friend for brunch and a movie. This is one of my sweetest friendships that I cherish so much.  She used to live in Knoxville and we were in a bible study at the church there that I miss so much. I have known her for several years and I love her authenticity and her voraciousness to go after whatever it is she is striving after at the moment. She is always in the know as well.  When I first moved here she was able to tell me about all of these different places to go to and things to do and see. She helped to make my transition a smooth one and I am very grateful for that.  She is extremely busy with school work but we try to get together when we can and we were able to get together to have brunch and watch Zero Dark Thirty together. The movie involved more violence and torture than I expected but it was well done.  I have a lot of respect and awe that the female CIA agent stuck with her guns so adamantly that you could almost single handedly credit her for the killing of Osama Bin Laden.   Her tenacity and unwillingness to drop her obsession reminded me of the widow that kept hounding the judge in the bible.  When we walked into the theater it was extremely dark and it was hard to see where to go and they put the walkway to a level of stairs in the middle of a set of stairs. So I stepped up on the stair not knowing that the walkway was not on the same level and I totally fell. I hit my knee really hard on the plastic cup holder and my hip/thigh on something, maybe an arm rest. I fell into a seat and was just trying to get over the pain as my friend looked on.  A bruise hasn’t shown up yet but there is a big knot there and I’m sure it will look nasty once it arrives.

I shared my testimony at bible study and I must say that it was very hard to follow. I wrote down notes but couldn’t get my mind to focus and I was all emotional because I am PMSing and just saw that emotional movie and … it… was … a … mess. Goodness grief. I feel like apologizing. Sorry for my mess of a story that I guess mimics my life in a sense. I feel like saying, “Sorry for my word vomit, please don’t judge me.”

Authenticity and Creepiness

I have two very busy weeks ahead of me. I have something every night. I’m not complaining since most of it is fun stuff but I am somebody that needs a good bit of down time to regroup between events. On Tuesday I went to a women’s meeting for my church for people that live in my area.  It was a great time to meet women of different generations and in different life stages.  I invited a girl from bible study to come and I arrived first. When I walked in there was a giant painting of a close up o Jesus’ face over the mantle.  I texted my friend, “Holy Jesus! That is what you will think when you see the mantle.”  We laughed about it when she got there. I love Jesus, don’t get my wrong, but to literally have him staring at me while laying on the couch or watching Revenge feels a little creepy. An older lady shared her story and it was the first time she had opened up and shared fully some of the things that happened in her past. It was great that she was finally able to be authentic after being caught in a self imposed prison of solitude and shame.  I wonder why some people have such a hard time being authentic. Do they fear people turning their back? If somebody doesn’t like me, the real me, then why would I want them to like a fake me? It was powerful to see her open up and see so many women come around her and love her and pray over her.

Tonight I went to my first meetup.com event which was a book club.  It was such a blast! There were six of us and we discussed the book Brooklyn, which nobody really loved. Nobody hated it but nobody loved it either.  It was great to discuss books with so many women of such different backgrounds.  That is one of the things I love so much about books- they are a great bonding instrument that can give people that have nothing in common something to talk about.

I am going in search of a fake engagement ring after several sleazy guys have hit on me at the library.  I’m not sure what vibe I’m sending out that is bringing all the boys to the yard but I wish they would leave me alone. There was one guy that I was somewhat hopeful about until I saw some inappropriate comments he made on Facebook and then today he showed me a YouTube video of a song he described as a “crude, Christian song.”   Umm, no.  It was a song about there being a loop hole in God’s rule about sexual purity. What is it, you ask?  Well that would be anal sex.  It was done in a humorous, tongue in cheek, quirky song but it was still foul.  I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. This guy seemed like a quality, positive guy and then boom! I don’t even know what to do about it.  I mentioned it to a co-worker without saying who it was and she asked if I told my boss.  I didn’t but I’m wondering if I should.  How would he ever think that was appropriate to show me and at work no less.  I quickly got away but I am not sure how I’m going to handle him from now on.  Gross. My skin crawls each time I think about it.

I have church tomorrow night, dinner with friends the night after, a class on Saturday where I am going to make my own glass bowl (I'm super pumped about this!!!), church and then a 80s themed shower Saturday night, on Sunday I am celebrating my friend's birthday with lunch and a movie and then I have Bible Study that night where I am sharing my testimony.  Let's pray that my authenticity shines through and that I can set a tone of openness and trust among the girls in the group.  

God's Love Through Friendships

Okay, so for the first day I’ve had off of work in two weeks and I didn’t sleep in. I got up at 6 to get on the road early enough to make it to Knoxville to get to an oil change appointment. When I bought my car I got a package where I could get all my maintenance work done at the dealer for free. Well I’m sure I am paying for it in another way but I don’t have a bill when I get it done.   This is a pretty nice deal but not when you move away.  A couple of weeks ago I received a call from Ford saying that there was an update for my computer system and I needed to go in to a dealer and have that done so I wanted to kill two birds with one stone. So off to Knoxville I go! 

Actually I could have put this off for a while but it ended up being a good weekend to see friends (with the exception of one being out of town).  I have two married friends whose birthdays are just one day apart and I was able to go out to dinner to celebrate with them.  I have a good friend that loves to provide commentary on shows and movies about as much as I do and I think we are both hilarious so we have an enthusiastically entertaining time together. We watched the fifth season of Dexter together when I lived here and my parents came up for a football game that weekend.  They didn’t watch the show with us but got a kick out of watching us watch the show.  Neither of us like scary things and watching a show about a serial killer can lead to some ridiculous moments.  This season wasn’t scary so much as it was awkward. We talked during the awkward parts to distract us from Deb falling in love with Dexter, her brother…..ewwww.  Yes, he was adopted but still, gross.

Overall it was a great weekend and I enjoyed the time I got to spend with friends, even though I only got to see a few of them. It has made me so extremely grateful to God for the amazing people He has brought into my life.  On Friday before I left I went out to dinner with some of my new friends here in Nashville and I felt so incredibly happy to have met amazing women in such a short time here. 

Just another first date...

So one of these days I will actually write about my horrific first dates that I have had but it is extremely past my bedtime and I don't have the energy to do it this moment. I did however want to share a quote from a date that I had this last weekend.

Him:  What movies did you watch in 2012? 

Me: I think one of the first ones that I watched was pretty graphic, it was the American version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Him: It wasn't that graphic. 

 Me: You didn't think the running kick to the metal pipe up the guy's anus was graphic? 

 

 Him:  Well it was somewhat bad for that one scene but the movie as a whole wasn't as graphic as it could have been or as bad as some other movies I've seen. 

At this point I'm just thinking "wow I don't want to know what kind of movies you've seen," and "why would you admit to watching movies more graphic than TGWTDT on a first date" and "this is the most interesting part of an extremely boring date."  

I almost fell asleep... both figuratively and literally.  The guy was a nice guy but the conversation wasn't too terribly interesting and I certainly never laughed... the. entire. night. He didn't even offer to pick me up and he didn't even walk me to my car at the end of the night.  There was a lack of flirtation and he walked five feet in front of me the whole night. I was starting to do the head bob at the Symphony because it had been a rough week with too little sleep and too much work.  Right now I'm 10 days into 13 straight days of work.  I'm debating staying in my PJs all day on Saturday to celebrate my first day off.  Maybe while I'm in those PJs I will share about my other dates.