Thursday, January 24, 2013

Authenticity and Creepiness


I have two very busy weeks ahead of me. I have something every night. I’m not complaining since most of it is fun stuff but I am somebody that needs a good bit of down time to regroup between events. On Tuesday I went to a women’s meeting for my church for people that live in my area.  It was a great time to meet women of different generations and in different life stages.  I invited a girl from bible study to come and I arrived first. When I walked in there was a giant painting of a close up o Jesus’ face over the mantle.  I texted my friend, “Holy Jesus! That is what you will think when you see the mantle.”  We laughed about it when she got there. I love Jesus, don’t get my wrong, but to literally have him staring at me while laying on the couch or watching Revenge feels a little creepy. An older lady shared her story and it was the first time she had opened up and shared fully some of the things that happened in her past. It was great that she was finally able to be authentic after being caught in a self imposed prison of solitude and shame.  I wonder why some people have such a hard time being authentic. Do they fear people turning their back? If somebody doesn’t like me, the real me, then why would I want them to like a fake me? It was powerful to see her open up and see so many women come around her and love her and pray over her.

Tonight I went to my first meetup.com event which was a book club.  It was such a blast! There were six of us and we discussed the book Brooklyn, which nobody really loved. Nobody hated it but nobody loved it either.  It was great to discuss books with so many women of such different backgrounds.  That is one of the things I love so much about books- they are a great bonding instrument that can give people that have nothing in common something to talk about.

I am going in search of a fake engagement ring after several sleazy guys have hit on me at the library.  I’m not sure what vibe I’m sending out that is bringing all the boys to the yard but I wish they would leave me alone. There was one guy that I was somewhat hopeful about until I saw some inappropriate comments he made on Facebook and then today he showed me a YouTube video of a song he described as a “crude, Christian song.”   Umm, no.  It was a song about there being a loop hole in God’s rule about sexual purity. What is it, you ask?  Well that would be anal sex.  It was done in a humorous, tongue in cheek, quirky song but it was still foul.  I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. This guy seemed like a quality, positive guy and then boom! I don’t even know what to do about it.  I mentioned it to a co-worker without saying who it was and she asked if I told my boss.  I didn’t but I’m wondering if I should.  How would he ever think that was appropriate to show me and at work no less.  I quickly got away but I am not sure how I’m going to handle him from now on.  Gross. My skin crawls each time I think about it.

I have church tomorrow night, dinner with friends the night after, a class on Saturday where I am going to make my own glass bowl (I'm super pumped about this!!!), church and then a 80s themed shower Saturday night, on Sunday I am celebrating my friend's birthday with lunch and a movie and then I have Bible Study that night where I am sharing my testimony.  Let's pray that my authenticity shines through and that I can set a tone of openness and trust among the girls in the group.  

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